Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
joks.com
Father: Son, if you will pass
\ the examination with flying colours,
I will present you a two-wheeler.
Son: But what if I fail?
Father: Then I will buy you a three-wheeler.
Son: But what if I fail?
Father: Then I will buy you a three-wheeler.
Student joks
A student was flying back home and reach
to the airport counter and speaks to the conuter officer:
Haku: Sir, here is my passport and the ticket.
Officer: Ok,its allright may i check you laugage.
Haku: Ok here it is.But I would like to send my
green suitcase to Hawaii and my red suitcase to London.
Officer: Looking confuse, I'm sorry we cannot do that?
Haku: Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that
because that is what exactly you did to my luggage last year.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
to the airport counter and speaks to the conuter officer:
Haku: Sir, here is my passport and the ticket.
Officer: Ok,its allright may i check you laugage.
Haku: Ok here it is.But I would like to send my
green suitcase to Hawaii and my red suitcase to London.
Officer: Looking confuse, I'm sorry we cannot do that?
Haku: Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that
because that is what exactly you did to my luggage last year.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
sasura jwai joks
ओल्ड इज गोल्ड ससुरा : ज्वाँई गफ गर्नुस्न ।
ज्वाँई : खोई के गफ गरौं र ससुरा गफै आउदैन।
ससुरा : होईन केहि कुरा निकालेर गफ गर्नुसन ।
ज्वाँई : मालाई त कुरा निकाल्नै पो आउदैन त बुवा ।
ससुरा : होईन केहि न केहि त कुरा निकालेर गफ गर्नुस ।
ज्वाँई : ससुरा यस पालि त खेतिपति पनि मजाले सप्रियो
भित्र्याउनलाई पनि निक्कै गारो भयो फेरि एक्लै मान्छे
अनि मैले ता स्यालको पनि पुच्छारमा हँसिय झुन्ड्याई
दिएँ त्यसपछि त स्याल्ले पनि धान काट्यो मैले पनि
काटेँ बल्ल बल्ल खेति भित्र्याई सकेर ससुरालि तिर आएको ।
ससुरा : अचम्म मान्दै हँ स्याल्ले पनि धान काट्छ र ?
ज्वाँई : गफै त हो नि ससुरा
(Babysitter Man joks)
A young man agreed to baby-sit one night
so a single mother could have an evening out.
At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs
to bed and settled down to watch football.
One child kept creeping down the stairs,
but the young man kept sending him back to bed.
At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor,
Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there.
The young man brusquely replied, "No."
Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted,
"I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"
so a single mother could have an evening out.
At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs
to bed and settled down to watch football.
One child kept creeping down the stairs,
but the young man kept sending him back to bed.
At 9pm the doorbell rang, it was the next-door neighbor,
Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there.
The young man brusquely replied, "No."
Just then a little head appeared over the banister and shouted,
"I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"
joks.com
The motorist looked at it and said, “What’s this, a raffle?”
The policeman said, “That’s right. Two more of those and you get a bike!”
Fashion joks
a woman was going to dive in pool and a man asked",
what are you scared of before diving."
woman", i am scared of being damage of my make u
p.'
what are you scared of before diving."
woman", i am scared of being damage of my make u
joks hahaha
for Nepali translation and he is new ?
Doctor ask the patient: what happen to you ?
patient tell to the Nepali interpreter:
Sir मोलाई दैइने र देबरे खोक तीर सोल हनछ
अनि घटी मा बागे छ vanchha?
New interpreter: right side of stomach 16
left side of stomach 16 tiger in the neck vanachha
सोल = 16
if u understand you will laugh?
Free of Charge joks
The boss came early in the morning one day
and found his manager kissing his secretary and he shouted at him,
Boss - "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager - "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
Boss - "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager - "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
Hiro joks
एउटा नेपाली हिरो सुटिङ्ग सिद्धाएर घर फर्कदै रहेछ। रातको १२ बजिसकेको थियो ।
फिल्मको मात्र हिरो साँच्चै चैं एकदम काथ्थर रहेछ । फेरि त्यसको घर मसानघाट बाट जानुपर्ने रहेछ ।
जति जति मसानघाट नजिको आयो त्यसको मनले त्यति नै ढ्याङ्ग्रो ठोक्दो रहेछ।
मसानघाटको नजिक आएपछि लिफ्ट लिने सोचेछ । परबाट एउट गाडी एकदम स्पिडमा आईराखेको थियो । त्यसलाई रोक्न खोजेछ तर त्यो गाडी नरोकिकन गएछ ।
कुनै पनि गाडी नरोकेपछि 'जुन गाडी आँउछ त्यसलाई रोक्दै नरोकी यसै चढ्छु जे पर्ला पर्ला' भन्ने सोचेछ । भाग्गे ले पनि कस्तो साथ दिएको एउट गाडी अतिनै बिस्तारै आईराखेको रहेछ ।
गाडी नजिक आएपछि मौका हेरेर हत न पत गाडीमा चढेछ र लामो सास फेरेछ । गाडीमा चढेर दंग परेको त यसो अगाडी हेर्छ त ड्राईभर नै छैन ।
ल बब्बाल !!!
त्यो त डरले झन थुर थुर काम्न थाल्यो । बाहिर जाँउ भने मसानघाटको बाटो गाडीमै बसौं भने ड्राईभर नै छैन, गाडी त यसै चलिरहाछ । जे सुकै होस् भन्ने सोचेर डर
मानी मानी गाडी मैं बसेछ ।
एकछिनमा पेट्रोल पम्प नजिक आएर गाडी रोकिएछ । त्यसको घर पनि त्यहीं नजिक रहेछ । हत न पत गाडीबाट ओर्लेर यसो पर मात्र के पुगेको थियो त्यो गाडीमा त अर्कै मान्छे चढ्न लागेको देख्यो । त्यसलाई भन्नु पर्यो भन्नि सोचेर 'ए दाई ! ए दाई ! यो गाडी नचढ्नुस् यसमा त ड्राईभर नै छैन यो त आफैं चल्छ ' भनेछ ।
त्यो मान्छेले त्यसलाई एक झ्याप्पड हानेर भनेछ ' पेट्रोल सिध्दकोले दु:ख गरि गरि त्यति टाढा बाट गाडी धकेली धकेली ल्याको त, तँ मेरो गाडीमा पो बसिराखेको थिईस्'....
फिल्मको मात्र हिरो साँच्चै चैं एकदम काथ्थर रहेछ । फेरि त्यसको घर मसानघाट बाट जानुपर्ने रहेछ ।
जति जति मसानघाट नजिको आयो त्यसको मनले त्यति नै ढ्याङ्ग्रो ठोक्दो रहेछ।
मसानघाटको नजिक आएपछि लिफ्ट लिने सोचेछ । परबाट एउट गाडी एकदम स्पिडमा आईराखेको थियो । त्यसलाई रोक्न खोजेछ तर त्यो गाडी नरोकिकन गएछ ।
कुनै पनि गाडी नरोकेपछि 'जुन गाडी आँउछ त्यसलाई रोक्दै नरोकी यसै चढ्छु जे पर्ला पर्ला' भन्ने सोचेछ । भाग्गे ले पनि कस्तो साथ दिएको एउट गाडी अतिनै बिस्तारै आईराखेको रहेछ ।
गाडी नजिक आएपछि मौका हेरेर हत न पत गाडीमा चढेछ र लामो सास फेरेछ । गाडीमा चढेर दंग परेको त यसो अगाडी हेर्छ त ड्राईभर नै छैन ।
ल बब्बाल !!!
त्यो त डरले झन थुर थुर काम्न थाल्यो । बाहिर जाँउ भने मसानघाटको बाटो गाडीमै बसौं भने ड्राईभर नै छैन, गाडी त यसै चलिरहाछ । जे सुकै होस् भन्ने सोचेर डर
मानी मानी गाडी मैं बसेछ ।
एकछिनमा पेट्रोल पम्प नजिक आएर गाडी रोकिएछ । त्यसको घर पनि त्यहीं नजिक रहेछ । हत न पत गाडीबाट ओर्लेर यसो पर मात्र के पुगेको थियो त्यो गाडीमा त अर्कै मान्छे चढ्न लागेको देख्यो । त्यसलाई भन्नु पर्यो भन्नि सोचेर 'ए दाई ! ए दाई ! यो गाडी नचढ्नुस् यसमा त ड्राईभर नै छैन यो त आफैं चल्छ ' भनेछ ।
त्यो मान्छेले त्यसलाई एक झ्याप्पड हानेर भनेछ ' पेट्रोल सिध्दकोले दु:ख गरि गरि त्यति टाढा बाट गाडी धकेली धकेली ल्याको त, तँ मेरो गाडीमा पो बसिराखेको थिईस्'....
What happened????joks
A new man brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out.
You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars,
the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best
restaurants of France.” The new man asked,
“What happened?” “One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, “Look at me. I’m old and worn out.
You’d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars,
the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best
restaurants of France.” The new man asked,
“What happened?” “One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!”
Sardar joks
Sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2:Don’t worry, I have a one more.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2:Don’t worry, I have a one more.
(Advantages of Being A Woman)
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always
return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous.
Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the
central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always
return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous.
Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the
central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
Doctor and Patient joks hahaha
एकजना मुर्ख डाक्टरको मा आफ्नो दुबै कान पोलेर देखाउन गएछ ।
डाक्टरले सोधेछ , तपाईंको दाँया कान कसरी पोल्यो ?
मुर्खले जवाफ दिएछ , म iron लाउदै थिएँ त्यतिकै मा
फोनको घण्टी बज्यो , मैले बिर्सेंर फोनको सट्टा iron लाईनै कानमा राखे ।
डाक्टर: अनी बाँया कान कसरी पोलियो त ?
मुर्ख: फोनको घण्टी फेरी बज्यो नि त ...
डाक्टरले सोधेछ , तपाईंको दाँया कान कसरी पोल्यो ?
मुर्खले जवाफ दिएछ , म iron लाउदै थिएँ त्यतिकै मा
फोनको घण्टी बज्यो , मैले बिर्सेंर फोनको सट्टा iron लाईनै कानमा राखे ।
डाक्टर: अनी बाँया कान कसरी पोलियो त ?
मुर्ख: फोनको घण्टी फेरी बज्यो नि त ...
Bird joks
एउटा डाङ्ग्रे चरो कारमा ठोक्किएर बेहोस भएछ ।
एकजना मान्छेले आफ्नो घरमा लगेर पिँजडाभित्र राखिदिएछ ।
डाङ्ग्रे चरोलाई होस आएपछि यताउता हेरेछ अनि
आफूलाई पिँजडाभित्र बन्द देखेर भनेछ, "आब्बुइ ! जेलमा पो
परेछु, त्यो कारवाला मर्यो कि क्या हो ?"
एकजना मान्छेले आफ्नो घरमा लगेर पिँजडाभित्र राखिदिएछ ।
डाङ्ग्रे चरोलाई होस आएपछि यताउता हेरेछ अनि
आफूलाई पिँजडाभित्र बन्द देखेर भनेछ, "आब्बुइ ! जेलमा पो
परेछु, त्यो कारवाला मर्यो कि क्या हो ?"
joks hahaha
सम्बन्धको लागि १ थिच्नुस्, स्वयम्बरको लागि २ थिच्नुस्, विवाह नै गर्न ३ थिच्नुस
मुन्द्रे: दोस्रो विवाहको लागि के थिच्ने?
नेपाल टेलिकम : यो सेवाको लागि पत्नीको घाटि थिच्नुस्।।।।।
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